Nearly fallen angel

Posted on Thursday September 6th, 2018 @ 3:18am by Lieutenant Commander Sarissa Slane M.D. & Lieutenant Seraphina Cerulius

1,910 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Season 2: Mission 1: Day after Day
Location: Arborteum
Timeline: Shortly after "Keeping Distance"

OOC: I thought we posted this...my bad. 


[SIM START]

Seraphina walked the paths if the Arboretum, hoping the beauty of nature and the serene space would help her mood. Ever since her conversation with Jay the other day, she had been stricken with a sense of Sorrow and despair she couldn't shake. She had always hoped that peace was something achievable, after all, the USO had known long periods without conflict. But like Jay had said, it was everywhere just waiting. Pointless wars that only left stacks of dead in their wake, and brought violence without reason.

But given that in the last three months, so many had died and so many battles had been fought, peace seemed like a false dream. She felt like her own past should have been the slap in the face, that it was all a lie.

These thoughts plagued her mind, Every once in a while bringing a tear to her eye. She averted her eyes when anyone passed, or she passed by others enjoying the natural beauty of the area. She even did as she passed by the Vulcan woman known as Sarissa, who sat under a tree with a guitar.

Sarissa picked a series of chords. To her it was a mathematical sequence designed to focus her mind, but from time to time, observers were know to stop and listen.  That didn't bother her. She went through the first two series and let her fingers play where her mind took her. It was similar to Spanish guitar but not quite the same.

It was a non-traditional way Sarissa liked to meditate. It allowed her to clear her mind, and let the music take her to one plane of existence where only she and the music gathered. It wasn't something she could explain. She also played as it kept her fingers nimble for surgery. A side benefit, but one she liked.

Seraphina didn't stop to listen, she kept her gaze turned away as she passed. She didn't want anyone to see the look in her eye, or see the conflict in her expression. She continued walking, careful to move around those who had stopped to listen.

Sarissa play more cheerfully as the mood struck her. It wasn't entirely on a conscious level. The music flowed from the 6 stringed instrument. When the music broke, she was awarded with the disturbing sound of applause. It was a normal occurrence. She waited for the crowd to dissipate before she continued.

As the crowd dispersed, people scattered back to their prior activities. As they did, Seraphina accidentally ran into one, colliding with a man as he turned around.

"Oof! Watch it."

Seraphina lowered head after recovering, "S-sorry. Didn't mean to get in the way." She said apologetically before continuing. She would keep her head low and eyes turned downwards as she left the group.

Sarissa decided the group wasn't going to give her the quiet she was needing. Her mind was unsettled more and more lately. So far, she could not pin down the reason. Packing up her guitar she walked toward the exit to return to her quarters.

Seraphina was ahead of her. As she began to walk across a stone bridge, She stayed close to the rail. Her gaze turned to the water below as she walked, slowing to a stop as a thought crossed her mind. what's the point of continuing, if there is no hope, no love, why go on?, she thought as she stopped. It would only take a quick hop onto to the rails, and the last flight she'd ever make again.


With the guitar sling over one shoulder, Sarissa noticed the crowd. The normal collection of couples and young families. A few single parents with babies or small children. She saw the woman near the rails. Being a Vulcan, she was an expert on body language. Walking close to her, she stopped and offered. "Please don't do anything I will have to repair later."

She almost froze even as her finger tips touched the stone that made the rail. Her  head quickly searching out the source of the voice, before her eyes lowered at the sight of the woman. "Repair implies I would have lived.", Sera said ashamed that she had actually considered what she just had. Even then it was still lingering there in the back if her thoughts.

Sarissa peered over the edge. Her mind did the quick calculations. 87.26% percent chance of survival. 97.1% chance of broken arms or legs, 71.3% chance of several broken ribs, with a 38.5% chance of a punctured lung."
"I would also remind you that suicide is just the transferal of your emotional state to people that care about you in most cultures." Sarissa added.

There wasn't even hope of a quick death., She thought as she gave a quiet bitter laugh that turned into a feint sob.

Seraphina felt even more shame that she would do something so selfish and careless to those she had arrived with. She couldn't hold back the tears any longer as she slumped to her knees. Her golden blonde hair cascaded as she hunger head while on her knees, the stone of the bridge becoming wet from falling tears.

Sarissa knelt down to comfort the woman. She might be a Vulcan, but she was also a mother.

Seraphina shuddered as the woman touched her. The angel sobbing as everything she had been holding in came to a critical point. She had almost let the negative thoughts tread to thoughts that would end her life. It would have stopped her problems, but only at the expense of others.

"You are coming with me." Sarissa said in soft tones.

She simply didn't have the energy to resist if Sarissa pulled her along. 

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...", Sera trailed off in a whisper as she could only muster barely more then a whisper. She held herself across the abdomen, as she kept her face tilted down. Embarrassed, ashamed, and angry at herself for breaking down in front of the view of complete strangers.

Sarissa kept her mental barriers up, but she didn't need to be a telepath to feel the anguish radiating off the woman. They were in the lift shortly and then made it to Sarissa's quarters. Turning down the heat to more comfortable human temperature, she donned a sweater. "Now tell me what has you so entangled that you are seeking a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

"Why do we continue fighting when all it does is bring us another battle? Why are we waging war when all it does is lead to more people dying? There is no hope for peace, there is no point to love, when we'll all just end up dying tomorrow. Jay said it himself, and the proof is clear. Earth is just a graveyard, as men, women, old, and children decay as ash. It wasn't any different back home."

"Clearly, the person who said this.... Drivel to you needs as much help as you do. We fight because the alternative is less pleasant. We take solace where we can, and in each other." Sarissa offered.

"Tell that to my family. I never got to be old enough to know my mother, or father, the humans and empire killed them in a war that had no point but petty differences. Here it's one doomsday after another. This won't end until we're all dead. Why does it never end?", Seraphina said in a voice that was almost as broken as she felt. Her legs felt unsteady, her knees wabbling.

Sarissa  put a hand on the woman. "I cannot give a logical answer other than power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely." She went to the cabinet and pulled out an old bottle of Vulcan Port. She poured two fingers worth into the glass and put the bottle back. Handing the woman the glass, she said, 'drink this."

"It will take the edge off of your condition." Sarissa said.

"Is there someone you would like be here with you, other than the illogical person that is misguiding you?" She asked Sera.

"Someone from my group. Who doesn't matter, just someone.", Seraphina said wiping her eyes before accepting the glass and taking a drink.


Sarissa VX'd someone within the S6 group, inquiring as to who Sera's friends would be, keeping the message discreet. When Thorn's name came up, she sent a carefully worded message to her.

"Bottom's up, I believe is the phrase." Sarissa said. "I am not the best counselor, being what I am. I can tell you that I have been alive more than 3 times longer than you have. The struggle isn't pointless." She offered Sera.


Seraphina tipped up the glass further, taking a larger drink. She stopped to give a slight cough, not being much of an alcohol drinker.

Sarissa took the glass as set it aside. "Nearly everyone on this ship has lost family, loved one, comrades. This is sadly normal, though I too share your wish that the killing will end. Something Aidan once told stuck with me. "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. Though it's a misquote, the sentiment rings of truth."

"And therefore they die in our place. That is far from fair, and something I shouldn't allow another to do."

Sarissa clarified, "Are you a civilian? I thought you were in the struggle with us."

"I'm a scientist, I've never held a rifle before, even though I'm part of trinity."

"We all serve in our own way or capacity. As a doctor, I help keep everyone in the fight." She offered. "You as a scientist, help by invention and analysis."

"But am I even making a difference?"

"If not, you should work harder or on something more effective. Even small gains are appreciated. I cannot judge your work."

Seraphina looked at the glass for a moment. She didn't feel much better, but at least she had stopped crying, and the nagging voice at the back of her head had stopped. One thing for sure was to avoid Jay for the time being, and after...........She would see.

Sera wanted to prove him wrong, but how the angel did not know. Right now she felt exhausted emotionally.

While Sarissa couldn't know what Sera was thinking, she could steer her in the right direction. 'If you have future dealings with this individual, send them my way. I would also inform the person that if they are not part of the solution, they are part of the problem. I have noted that in many humanoid species, a little negative emotion can be a good thing, but an overwhleming amount, as you have found out, is counter-productive."

"I plan to avoid him as much as possible. I know Jack would suggest the same.", Sera said quietly.

Sarissa pointed out. "You will  need counseling on this. As the Chief Medical Officer, I would be grossly negligent if I did not ensure your safety in this matter. I can arrange for you to speak with someone or you can find someone of rank that you can confide in. 

 

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