Loss and Defeat
Posted on Saturday July 7th, 2018 @ 4:21am by Vice Admiral Yuka Layton
Edited on Saturday July 7th, 2018 @ 4:26am
1,653 words; about a 8 minute read
This entire everything is just worthless… Maybe people should try to understand how I feel before they just make stupid ass decisions and destroy everything. A separation is supposed to allow people to re-orient themselves and come back but as far as I’m concerned right now I feel like that’s not going to work and with everything how it is I just wanted the two of them to at least be my friends and at least have some romance in our lives even if we’re not officially still doing things like as fiancé’s… Yet this entire thing… even after I gave him the gift… i’m really not positive that any of this is going to work anymore regardless of what happens and as a result of that this ship it doesn’t even really seem like my home anymore as what made it my home is the people who were here… but now there’s really nobody here for me I mean yeah Aidan says he is but I’m not really sure if he actually is… Emily as he usually talks to me about work but doesn’t do anything involving our relationship even before it went to this so my best friend won’t speak to me. Everyone keeps complaining about their own shit but you know hey I lost a dad, I also watched our home WRLD get destroyed, I also participated in this month of hell coordinating evacuees cleaning up blood stained floors from people who ended up dying because throwing billions of people on a small fleet… and everybody acts like their problems are more important… We’ve been having relationship problems for two months still nothing… Somehow it’s believed that a separation will help; I hope will but I have my doubts and honestly I just want my friend back. Neither of us have been intimate in a long time and I don’t just mean sex so how do they expect a relationship to work when they won’t even fucking talk.. that is why we are here… we are about to leave today and I honestly am thinking I don’t wanna be here anymore because I don’t think I’m gonna be able to handle three weeks of being ignored and tossed around like a fucking fiddle…
“Poor emo Yuka” that’s what some people say but if they say that fuck you because anyone would be emotional in the situation and honestly I feel like punching someone in the face and that’s not usually something I do. So now i’m stuck with an empty room, my friends and most of my family are dead, this is not necessarily something I want to talk to Andrew about either and so literally that leaves me with nothing pretty much the only help in the world I have is the physicians assistant in medical and not that she isn’t helpful but she’s not what I need right now… I truly wonder if leaving the ship would be a better option and just not coming back here.
Lets go through a checklist to compare problems… Hum…
So before I arrived in this cursed time I lost Julian and Emily once…
Then I get here and lose my adoptive family and my entire past only to come and find hope through RINZ and Kirin. Then I meet Jean… But she leaves about as soon as things begin… So does RINZ… I find Aidan and think I’ve somehow had some wonderful things happen but then Sirus is killed… Yay for losing friends CONSTANTLY… That will make everything happier and better… pfft… I find Emily here… we both express our feelings; which I still feel mind you BUTY when you don’t be intimate in likke a month and a half what do people think is going to happen… I’m just supposed to accept that Em and Aidan are focused so much on other things they forget my ass even exists… No… So I say that on Kiru or something like it and we try something and fail then we try again… Some success but then… well even more time later and still nothing; newsflash.. Sitting next to your soon to be wife and talking about work DOES NOT constitute intimacy. Shame on both of you; you have more time together than you do with me.. This was supposed to be an equal partnership…
Now we spend a month trying to save humanity only to watch helplessly as disease, fire, disasters and chaos kill half our worlds population… I lose my dad and… now I lose them… Yeah; lets everyone just ignore Yuka during this… There is no reason for me to be on the Lavie at this point. If either of them take the chickenshit way out like I just said I would be leaving; I’m done. It’s okay to be emotional and need time but don’t just fucking abandon the ones you care about; doing this stupid… Fuck if it could work without this I would prefer it but things are too fucked… I CAN’T BE INTIMATE WITH THE PEOPLE I LOVE RIGHT NOW CAUSE THEY ARE TOO FUCKED UP TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME I NEED MORE THAN JUST “HERE IS YOUR COFFEE MA’AM AND THE DAILY REPORTS…” I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT FUCKING WORK I WANT YOU BOTH TO BE MY FIANCES!!!! *Yuka ends the recording abruptly as the sound of her assaulting a nearby object is heard before it ends*
“Poor emo Yuka” that’s what some people say but if they say that fuck you because anyone would be emotional in the situation and honestly I feel like punching someone in the face and that’s not usually something I do. So now i’m stuck with an empty room, my friends and most of my family are dead, this is not necessarily something I want to talk to Andrew about either and so literally that leaves me with nothing pretty much the only help in the world I have is the physicians assistant in medical and not that she isn’t helpful but she’s not what I need right now… I truly wonder if leaving the ship would be a better option and just not coming back here.
Lets go through a checklist to compare problems… Hum…
So before I arrived in this cursed time I lost Julian and Emily once…
Then I get here and lose my adoptive family and my entire past only to come and find hope through RINZ and Kirin. Then I meet Jean… But she leaves about as soon as things begin… So does RINZ… I find Aidan and think I’ve somehow had some wonderful things happen but then Sirus is killed… Yay for losing friends CONSTANTLY… That will make everything happier and better… pfft… I find Emily here… we both express our feelings; which I still feel mind you BUTY when you don’t be intimate in likke a month and a half what do people think is going to happen… I’m just supposed to accept that Em and Aidan are focused so much on other things they forget my ass even exists… No… So I say that on Kiru or something like it and we try something and fail then we try again… Some success but then… well even more time later and still nothing; newsflash.. Sitting next to your soon to be wife and talking about work DOES NOT constitute intimacy. Shame on both of you; you have more time together than you do with me.. This was supposed to be an equal partnership…
Now we spend a month trying to save humanity only to watch helplessly as disease, fire, disasters and chaos kill half our worlds population… I lose my dad and… now I lose them… Yeah; lets everyone just ignore Yuka during this… There is no reason for me to be on the Lavie at this point. If either of them take the chickenshit way out like I just said I would be leaving; I’m done. It’s okay to be emotional and need time but don’t just fucking abandon the ones you care about; doing this stupid… Fuck if it could work without this I would prefer it but things are too fucked… I CAN’T BE INTIMATE WITH THE PEOPLE I LOVE RIGHT NOW CAUSE THEY ARE TOO FUCKED UP TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME I NEED MORE THAN JUST “HERE IS YOUR COFFEE MA’AM AND THE DAILY REPORTS…” I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT FUCKING WORK I WANT YOU BOTH TO BE MY FIANCES!!!! *Yuka ends the recording abruptly as the sound of her assaulting a nearby object is heard before it ends*
RSS Feed