Struggles of Love and Life

Posted on Saturday June 23rd, 2018 @ 9:36am by Vice Admiral Yuka Layton & Lieutenant Kiyoko Ino & Ensign Ai Roslin PA-C & Brigadier General Aidan Thornton & Lieutenant Emily Quartermaine

3,555 words; about a 18 minute read

Mission: Season 2: Mission 1: Day after Day
Location: DFS Lavie – VIP Quarters, ShuttleBay, Medical
Timeline: October 10th 4566 Evening

Aidan was working in his office. Everything ship-wise was getting back to normal. The shuffling of personnel was normal at any time, this being no exception.  With the last of the work done, he got up from the desk and walked to the holodeck. The wristcom beeped as he asked it to change to leather armor and the holodeck changed to an medieval settings. The castle was bathed in full moonlight, fires burned here and there. He asked for a a few suitable opponents and a sword appeared in a weapons rack nearby.

Working up a sweat and taking out his anger and aggression on generated enemies at least help to quell his rage. He didn't know what to do with Yuka and Em. Everytime he tried to do the right thing, it ended up blowing up in his face. So for now, he would be there if they needed him, but otherwise distant.

Emily was exhausted and in ways that shouldn't be possible but sure enough, she was as she pulled out the small packet of patches out and reached behind her at the small of her back to peel the old one off before replacing it with a fresh one and slowly started to feel her tiredness fade away before she pushed herself out of her chair and left her office, sealing the door behind her as she made her way to the holodeck, a PADD held tightly in her right hand as several security officers and Alliance MACOs walked along on their patrols as she went, trying to ignore the occasional look of confusion or concern as the already pale woman was slightly more paler then usual, her bound hair bouncing ever so slightly as she walked down the corridors until finally reaching her destination and entering it. "Colon...AIDAN!" she started to say, fighting with her own feelings that she pushed back as she waited for the marine to notice her.

Aidan turned at the shout and got stabbed for the effort, the enemies fading as the computer noted his holo-death. It was his own fault, he hadn't locked the controls on the door. He was mildly annoyed at the disturbance but that faded when he saw it was Emily. He still felt like crap over what had happened the night before. "Emily, it seems like you're on a mission."

Emily nodded slowly as she tried to ignore how she was feeling as she walked towards him. "I guess you could say that, Aidan. I actually come bearing good news." she said as she drew close enough to present him with the PADD. "I found your daughter."

He dropped the sword, and grabbed her by the upper arms, excitedly. "What?! That's great news." Without thinking he picked her up and spun her around with glee, burying his face in her chest as they turned several times.

For a moment, Emily actually felt happy again but waited until she was on the ground again to try presenting him with the PADD again. "One of the MSA ships, an empty cargo ship, managed to pick up everyone in her area all at once. She's safe and alive plus I called in a couple of favors owed to me and she'll be on the ship within two hours complete with a nice quiet place for her to rest her head." she explained. "I...I hope you don't mind but I had to do something."

He was a little tangled when Emily said she was coming to the ship. He wanted her safe and away from the action, but given recent events, he realized there was no such place. He put on a genuine smile. "Of course I don't mind. No one with a brain would." He put his hands on both sides of her face and kissed her hard but quick."(edited)

Emily melted into the kiss for the briefest of moment but when it broke, she couldn't help but smile even a little. "I'm still working on your parents, I'm calling in every favor that I have left to find them for you even with everything else going on." she admitted softly.

He looked at her and studied her face for a moment. "I am grateful beyond words." Noticing a few things, he called. "Computer, switch to daytime mode." The lights on the holodeck changed with the castle in the background. "Emily, when was the last time you took a day off or for that matter, slept?" He asked honestly, concern in his voice.

Emily blinked as the ambient light changed as she wasn't ready for it but the "daylight" showed how much paler she was and how tired she may have looked to the man. "I will take a day off when we can unload all of the ships at a safe haven and everything is fine again." she said simply, before slowly nodding. "I'm too busy fixing things to do otherwise."

"Wrong. We finished the offloading and you are taking two days off starting right the hell now. That's an order." Aidan said, resting his hand on her shoulders for emotional support. "Let me let you in on a dirty little secret. The more you do, the more they rest of Yuka's staff will LET you handle. Learn to delegate what you can. That's the balance you need to work on. I'm sending a message to the rest of her staff, you are off duty. Clear?" He asked, in his stern and concerned voice, watching her body language.

Emily looked into Aidan's eyes and wished that she could do as he asked but she slowly shook her head. "I can't Aidan, I have to fix things and I still need to find your parents also." she said but something deeper "twanged" in her soul as she continued with "I can do this, I can fix everything and you won't have to leave and Yuka won't hate me."

"No, you can't fix everything. Your dedication is admirable, but not that expense of your health dammit." Aidan said softly. "We've had that health scare with you once already.  For the record.....I am not going any damned place, and Yuka doesn't hate you." He pulled her into a hug. "The crisis is over. My parents are either alive or they are not. I refuse to sacrifice any part of you in the trade for news on them. "

Emily's emotions were all over the place as she alternated between downright furious and remorseful. "Yes I CAN...you told me that you'd leave if I didn't fix things and I'm fixing them so you don't leave and then the three of us can get married and then there won't be anymore of this shit with Yuka accusing me of hiding or treating me like I'm some kind of fucking childish fool for trying to help HER!!" she vented, all of the pain of the last few days hitting her all at once as even with the high dose of stims coursing through her bloodstream, she still partially collapsed into Aidan's arms like a boneless fish. "You didn't hear how she talked to me after I tried to reassure her that she shouldn't give up, Aidan, she made it sound like I didn't give a shit about what was going on and it was one of MY searches that found out HER FATHER!!!"

Aidan picked her up and carried her. Emily instinctively wrapping her arms around his neck for support. He shushed her softly. Smelling her scent and the light hint of perfume applied long ago, created a longing in him. Physical, but emotional as well. "I said I am not going anywhere. I don't break my word."  He offered as they got to the deck where their quarters were. He placed her down on the bed, and reached behind her head and peeled off the stim patch, placing it in the nearby recycler. He changed into cotton shorts, no shirt, and climbed behind Em, spooning her in his arms.  I'm right here. You aren't fixing anything more today, except our need for each other." He said softly.

(he's just holding her)

As he held her, Emily just kind of shivered in his arms as she fought to get her emotional state back under control. "i just want to run and hide, aidan." she said softly but her voice was quavering just a little bit due to how hard she was shivering. "not to avoid you or her but to try and get my head on straight again because apparently i'm a horrible person." she tried to wrap her arms around his closest arm only to find that her strength was leaving her which made her chuckle weakly. "did you know that her cousin and her haven't talked since she discovered that he was alive in this era too...what a universe...huh?"

Aidan reached over and pulled a blanket over both of them. "It's sure screwed up. I don't pretend to understand Yuka sometimes. It feels like I try my best to make things better, but it ends up having the opposite effect. So if I stop trying to fix things, maybe it'll work out." He offered.

After Yuka was treated by Ai she left heading to her office. Ai made sure she got there and then set up a follow up appointment with her. She then left. Yuka see that Ari had everything ship-wise handled and between all her staff and the Admirals on Earth II everything was done. Yuka though treated and more emotionally sound was wondering what she was doing here. She wondered what was truly thought of her and so she turned on a device she had in the room remotely that was hidden and could hear what people were saying. After listening to conversations about her emotional volatility and how she was such a problem; pretty much holding everyone else back and had basically become the back sheep of the Lavie she left a note for the quartermaster and then without any notice whatsoever she heads to the shuttlebay. Kiyoko was there. She looked at the female Ino twin. “I believe I am done here; everyone has their own things; their own people and I get in the way.” As Yuka finished this Kiyoko tilted her head at the younger girl. “So; you really think it’s pointless here… If you do there is nothing anyone can do to stop you.” “Just take me down to Earth II” Kiyo shrugged. “Sure.” The older girl; as always not really being into drama just led the way to a shuttle and the two got inside. Kiyo opened a channel to Flight Control. “This is Kiyoko Ino; I’m transporting Commodore Layton to the surface.” Flight control acknowledged the request and gave her permission to leave.


As the shuttle was departing Yuka thought about it; everyone would say she was blaming them; that one of them looked like the bad person in this. No; it was all her… Every part of it and she knew that. She wanted everyone to be happy; and with her around they were not happy. Her final option was this; remove herself from the picture and just stay in some office like the rest of fleet command.


She then spoke out loud. “All I wanted to do was for everyone to be happy and stop everyone from dying but yet everybody I care about either seems to die or lose people close to them… Or they just leave. I wish people would’ve told me what they thought of me in the first place then I would’ve just… Left” Kiyo then replied as the shuttle left  with the two of them inside. “ I get you’re depressed and you feel like people don’t care but honestly drama really isn’t my thing. I’m sorry I can’t be of help to you but you know if people actually love you They’ll come after you and if not then you have your answer.”  The younger girl shook her head at the older’s response and then replied “no I don’t want them to come after me; if I’m just a burden to people then I don’t want them to bother… Which that seems to be all I am to this crew...” Kiyo shrugged. “ let me guess everybody just tells you to grow the fuck up and that you need to learn to control your feelings and retarded shit like that right?“ Yuka nodded. “ The first thing you need to do if someone is telling you that you’re not good enough is tell them to shut the fuck up. The second thing you need to do is stop sitting on your goddamn pity horse...  you lost your dad that’s sad, you lost your boyfriend that’s also said, you lost a friend that’s pretty damn sad too. You watched your entire home world get annihilated yeah that’s also sad…  you were pulled away from world you knew but we’re to suicidal there so hey that’s good at least… You had some girl who is somehow a spaceship fall in love with you OK that’s cool… You have some Marine who is literally head over heels for you even though he doesn’t seem to get when you’re trying to explain something because you’re an emotional wreck… Yeah the whole emotional rack thing is a pain in the ass but the fact that you have him in the first place is also a good thing. And is much is you think the people here hate you if they hated you they wouldn’t  Sit in the lounge and drink with you… So in other words fuck what other people think. If you really want to leave I will take you back to earth but if you want to stop whining and crying about the fact that you’ve lost people and go back and grab a hold of the things that are truly valuable Then I will turn around.”

Yuka sighed “ but if I’m a worthless burden-“ “ with all due respect Commodore who gives a fuck if you are a burden.” Kiyo said in a cold tone. “ but they said they don’t understand me, they said that-“ “ OK so they voice their opinion and went all sad panda… Awesome who the fuck cares...  here’s some free advice if you love someone then go be with them and fuck what anyone else or anything else thinks. If they feel like there’s issues in the relationship then tell them straight up what you expect and if they don’t really want to be a part of that and they didn’t care about you in the first place.“ Kiyo continued coldly  she then added. “ you have until we enter orbit to make up your damn mind.” Kiyo then said nothing more. Yuka just stared at the deck plating.

Aidan lay there as Emily's breathing became even and steady. She even had the slightest snore. He slipped out of bed and slipped into a duty t-shirt and socks. He padded into the living room and opened a console. He recieved a message from the quartermaster wanting to know if they were boxing up his items for shipment to the planet as well. His brow wrinkled and he asked the computer for Yuka's location. "Commodore Layton is in a shuttle approaching the planet." Lumi offered. 

He tried to open a channel to the shuttle. 

Before Aidan opened the channel Yuka told Kiyo to turn around and started to cry. “I don’t even know what I’m doing here anymore… I don’t want anyone else to die, I don’t want to lose my job… I just want *sob* everything to *sob* stay the same…” Kiyo ignores the girl’s cry and returns to the Lavie with a sigh. “Damn… you’re a handful…” Kiyo said to herself referring to Yuka. “You sure you don’t need me to get you a doctor or something?” Kiyo then said to Yuka as she landed back on the Lavie. She noticed a comm channel but as they were already on the way to the ship she ignored it. Meanwhile in response to  Kiyo’s question her only response is more sobbing. “I’ll take that as “help me” heh…” Kiyo chuckled as she took Yuka’s hand from her sobbing self and walked her to medical. By the time they arrived her emotional unloading had completed. 

Upon arrival in medical Ai was on her first shift as not being a paramedic. She was sitting at the desk in the office reading over a patient’s casefile. She heard the door open and turned to see Kiyo with Yuka being brought in hand in hand. Ai stands up and comes over. “Yuka; we meet again… what can I help with?” Ai asked taking her to a bed. Kiyo shrugged.
“You don’t need anything from me doc?” Kiyo asked and Ai turned back to her after getting Yuka seated. “No; thanks for bringing her and I’m a PA… just call me Ai.” Kiyo nodded then left.

Ai turned her attention to Yuka. Yuka looked sad and then said. “You’re going to remove me and lock me in a box aren’t you… I don’t want to lose them… I want to stop everyone from dying… I finally like my job…” She prepares to sob again and Ai pats her on the head. “Why do you think I am going to lock you in a cage… We don’t imprison people whom are distraught. Sure; you have a history of this sort of thing… That just means you need to get better at handling your emotions and dealing with life… You are not doing anything wrong by that happening. We don’t just fire soldiers entirely based on a pattern of history… Let me ask you this; do you feel like harming yourself or someone else?”
“No… I just don’t feel useful.”

“Okay; so you realize that everyone on the ship feels that way right now?” Yuka just stares at her; Ai then speaks. “So; when I found you earlier you were having a fight weren’t you?”
“She doesn’t-“ “She does love you; he does love you… Life is harsh sometimes and we can’t see the ones we love or tell them how we feel; just because we cannot do that does not mean it’s not still true.” “My dad…” “Your father passing is tragic but think; would he want you to feel like this… Would he want you sobbing over his memory? He died what any Rescueman is prepared to die for… Saving others. He died a hero.”

Yuka cries on her shoulder as Ai let her do so. This lasted a few minutes and then Yuka seemed to feel better.
“Now; are you okay if I examine you?” Ai asked. Yuka nodded. Ai scanned Yuka and pulled out a hypo giving her something to correct some extremely of chemical things going on in her brain.
“It seems you overworked yourself to the point of actually causing you to have a breakdown. I looked over your history at our last meeting and I would suggest group therapy… I think hearing that other people are going through the same things you are and learning some skills on how to handle that would benefit you a lot especially with how you seem to feel like people do not care a lot; knowing people care will help you.” Ai advised.
Yuka then spoke. “Um… am I… I had sex a month ago..”
“No; you’re not. My scans show nothing of the sort… I would recommend you take a few days off though… Use this next three weeks of travel time to reset yourself.  Would you like me ot sign you up for the group; our social worker does it once a week?”
“Please… so I won’t lose my… you won’t send me away… even after I just tried to run?”
“No; you just lost someone close to you and with your depression your brain is already chemically off kilter… This just made that worse… I have corrected that and with the medication I gave you before you should be able to resume your duties but my advice as I said. Take some time off… focus on those people you are close to… Use that time to build a support network and find your support people.” Yuka nodded.
Ai then asked. “Do you need anything else?”
“No.”
“Alright… Let me get you a pad.  Also our new LCSW will be in contact about group.” Ai stepped away for a moment and came back. She gave Yuka a pad and some anti-anxiety meds. Yuka headed to the room to apologize for her actions.

(TAG)

 

RSS Feed

Comments (5)